boydallen.com - Blog

Progress in the War On Terror--May 9, 2001

Mon, 09 May 2011 21:26:07 -0600

This evening, at approximately 0830 hours, a special task force comprised of four fingers and one thumb, under the command of my Left Hand, conducted a surprise attack on a mosquito terrorist in the Right Bicep province.

This "sting" operation was a counter-attack in response to one of the terrorist's signature bloodsucking attacks. I am pleased to report that this covert operation has resulted in the death of the terrorist. The body was positively identified as a member of Al Qaeda, and the body was buried "at sea".

I think you'll agree this represents a significant step in our global fight against terrorism. May God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America.

An Open Letter to Church Leaders

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 22:26:37 -0600

I can't remember the last time I went to a church service where I was not asked for money.

Sometimes it's the traditional ushers "passing the plate" and giving you the stink eye if you don't contribute--other times it's the more hip, "we can't do what we do and reach the people that we reach without your money" line. Televangelists, traditionalists, emergents--it doesn't matter--you all share the same common denominator. I always get the same implicit message: "God wants you to give us your money".

The whole thing bothers me. It frustrates me because I feel like somehow God is being sold to me--like a used car.*

However--all of my frustration aside--as I study Christianity it's hard to deny the fact that Jesus was (and Christianity should be) all about giving. If we are truly following our founder, then we Christ-followers should be giving away as much of ourselves and our possessions as we can (and that includes our money). We are called to be radically, irrationally generous; our view of material things should be diametrically opposed to selfish ambition. While many are trying to attain as much money as possible; our goal should be to give away as much as possible. Christ gave everything (including His life); I think we can afford to reach into our wallets.

So, to all you preachers, teachers, and church leaders--may I humbly submit a prayerful suggestion? Talk about money more, not less. Preach about giving; teach about money; ask us to give more. Challenge us, not only to give---but to give sacrificially, to give until it hurts.

But do it for the right reason. Ask us to give because it's healthy for us and good for the world--not because it's funds your church. Ask us to give--not because you need our money--but because giving makes our hearts more like Christ.

Do you want an easy way to check your motives? Do you want a fool-proof way to confront those sceptics who suspect you of being a religious gold-digger?

Here it is: Ask us to give to that church or charity across town that you are totally unaffiliated with.

*At the risk of sounding like bragging--but solely in the interest of preemptively answering a very legitimate response to my frustration--I should say that my wife and I currently set aside 10% of our income for God's work. For the vast majority of my life (with one notable period of exception) I have always faithfully tithed. This post is not about me justifying my selfishness (although God knows there is plenty of that in me).

What Sabbath Does For Me:

Sat, 18 Sep 2010 15:31:37 -0600

If I should slow my pace and
finally subject me to grace

And Love that shames the wise,
betrays the heart's deceit and lies

And breaks the back of foolish pride

- Excerpt from Jars of Clay's song "Jealous Kind"

Thank God too; I have entirely too much foolish pride.

Nine Years Later...

Sat, 11 Sep 2010 10:50:07 -0600

You said to love
All I see is hate
Emotions swirling ‘round
On this sacred date

What must You think
When I choose to hate
When I turn from You
To pursue my fate

When I choose to hurt
Instead of heal
When I choose the fake
Instead of the real

When I choose to look
At myself instead
When I starve my Lord
To make sure I’m fed

I look beyond
To the crimson cross
And Your eyes still shine
With love spread across

On that cross so hard
In Your eyes the love
Yet I prefer the eagle
And pervert the dove

You said to love
All I see is hate
Lord give me your heart
On this sacred date

Copyright 2010 by Boyd Allen

"I Have A Dream..."

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 21:58:10 -0600

Forty-seven years ago yesterday, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave one of the most famous speeches in American history. I am ashamed to admit that--until tonight--I had never watched the speech in its entirety.

If you're like me and you've never seen it, or if you've watched it many times...take a few minutes and allow the words of an American prophet to move you.

Word, Dr. King. Word.

On Christianity and Politics

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 16:10:14 -0600

A great quote that I read this week...

"I know passions get enflamed and sometimes should around political issues. Let us remember that Jesus brought a zealot and a tax collector together and said, "Follow me." In our churches, He brings together democrats, republicans, green party members, libertarians, and independents and says the same thing, "Follow me."

Christ followers will always be politically diverse. Following Him alongside people who talk, think, and act differently than you is not optional. If you refuse to do so, then you refuse to pursue Christ. The moment at which you wish to see someone crash and burn because they think differently than you—you have stopped following Jesus. The moment at which hate begins to burn in your heart towards another person, for whom Jesus died, because they disagree with you on policy—you have stopped following Jesus. The moment you stop seeking justice, love, kindness, and a humble walk with God—you have stopped following Jesus. So, we repent when necessary and remember that policy and governance never change the human heart—the Gospel does. The breadth of Christʼs good news must fuel our passion and guide our actions in every sphere of life."

-Issac Hunter

Now, if only I would let God help me LIVE this way. Then I'll be set.

White Boy's Version of Kanye's "Golddigger"

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 22:26:25 -0600

Create Your Own 2010 Political Ad

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 21:39:36 -0600

For those of you that are entertaining thoughts of running for any sort of political office this year, I've put together this helpful fill-in-the-blank template.

--------------------

[Cue slideshow of ominous black and white pictures of well-known politicians who are part of the "Washington Elite"]

"Are you tired of the same old thing in Washington? Are you ready for new blood? It's time for a changing of the guard! Let's vote out the liberal socialists who are ruining our country and mortgaging our children's future!

[Cut to softly filtered video of well-groomed families sitting on front porches, freshly mown grass and well groomed farmlands]

I am a Washington outsider. I have never taken money from those evil lobbyists who have infilterated the ranks of our nation's capital. I spent my formative years working in my [fill in the blank] family business. I have [X] number of years of Real World Experience running [insert name of privately owned] business.

[Cut to a headshot of yourself, looking earnestly into the camera. Try to wear a sternly passionate, outraged-about-what's-happening-in-Washington sort of look on your face.]

I will bring Real Change to Washington! My name is [X] and I would sincerely appreciate your vote on [fill in the election date]."

--------------------

You're welcome. You can thank me by sending massive amounts of pork to my congressional district after you're elected.

Reflections on Healthcare

Sun, 21 Mar 2010 23:26:43 -0600

So...since no one else will be blogging about this subject, I thought I'd step up and fill the gap.*

As I reflect on the passage of the historic healthcare reform bill, I wonder how America's Christians are reacting. Some thoughts...

To my brothers and sisters on the Left who are rejoicing at the passage of the healthcare reform bill, a gentle reminder: This bill does nothing to eliminate Christ's mandate for us to personally care for the poor. If history is any judge, the government will struggle to oversee the massive task they've just voted to put on their own plate. Bureaucracy, inefficiency, and corruption may well swallow up their good intentions. We Christians must stand in the gap that's left.

To my brothers and sisters on the Right who are lamenting the passage of this bill, may I gently suggest the possibility that we (I) have failed to live out Christ's directive to care for those less fortunate than us? Perhaps if we as the Church cared for the poor, marginalized, needy folks in the world as our founder did...then maybe, just maybe...Congress wouldn't have had to step up and do what we were capable of, but refused to do.

I recently read Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution (which I highly recommend) and I thought this excerpt was striking (and applicable to those on both ends of the political spectrum).

It is much more comfortable to depersonalize the poor so we don't feel responsible for the catastrophic human failure that results in someone sleeping on the street while people have spare bedrooms in their homes. We can volunteer in a social program or distribute excess food and clothing through organizations and never have to open up our homes, our beds, our dinner tables. When we get to heaven, we will be separated into those sheep and goats Jesus talks about in Matthew 25 based on how we cared for the least among us. I'm just not convinced that Jesus is going to say, "When I was hungry, you gave a check to the United Way and they fed me," or, "When I was naked, you donated clothes to the Salvation Army and they clothed me." Jesus is not seeking distant acts of charity. He seeks concrete acts of love: "you fed me...you visited me in prison...you welcomed me into your home...you clothed me."

My life has seldom lived up to Christ's words. May God have mercy on me and grant me strength to do better.

*That was sarcasm, just in case you didn't catch it.

Read the side of the bag...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:41:45 -0600

Arby's, marketing the healthy food angle...looks like it says:

"Never fried. Never greasy."

I'm not sure though; it's kinda hard to read...through the grease stain.