Progress in the War On Terror--May 9, 2001

This evening, at approximately 0830 hours, a special task force comprised of four fingers and one thumb, under the command of my Left Hand, conducted a surprise attack on a mosquito terrorist in the Right Bicep province. 

This "sting" operation was a counter-attack in response to one of the terrorist's signature bloodsucking attacks. I am pleased to report that this covert operation has resulted in the death of the terrorist. The body was positively identified as a member of Al Qaeda, and the body was buried "at sea". 

I think you'll agree this represents a significant step in our global fight against terrorism. May God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America.