Create Your Own 2010 Political Ad

For those of you that are entertaining thoughts of running for any sort of political office this year, I've put together this helpful fill-in-the-blank template.

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[Cue slideshow of ominous black and white pictures of well-known politicians who are part of the "Washington Elite"]

"Are you tired of the same old thing in Washington?  Are you ready for new blood?  It's time for a changing of the guard!  Let's vote out the liberal socialists who are ruining our country and mortgaging our children's future!

[Cut to softly filtered video of well-groomed families sitting on front porches, freshly mown grass and well groomed farmlands]

I am a Washington outsider.  I have never taken money from those evil lobbyists who have infilterated the ranks of our nation's capital.  I spent my formative years working in my [fill in the blank] family business.  I have [X] number of years of Real World Experience running [insert name of privately owned] business.  

[Cut to a headshot of yourself, looking earnestly into the camera.  Try to wear a sternly passionate, outraged-about-what's-happening-in-Washington sort of look on your face.]

I will bring Real Change to Washington!  My name is [X] and I would sincerely appreciate your vote on [fill in the election date]."

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You're welcome.  You can thank me by sending massive amounts of pork to my congressional district after you're elected.